The Fear of Letting Go

Sometimes I'm afraid of letting go. I become frantic, and like someone who is falling off a ledge, I grab onto anything that will keep me from hitting the bottom. Most of us think that hitting the bottom would be the end of us. Probably because in reality, when you're falling off a ledge, and you hit the bottom, that is the end of us. Unless you get lucky.

Maybe The Fear of Letting go isn't really like that though. Maybe it's more like bungee jumping or sky diving, both of which I'm pretty sure I'm too afraid to ever do. Maybe we know that we are going to be okay, that eventually we will land safely on the ground...but we just have trouble letting our feet step off the edge. Because it's safer at the top. But we also wouldn't experience the ride if we stayed at the top. Or the thrill that comes from the act of letting go.

Then again, maybe The Fear of Letting go isn't like that either. Maybe you met someone who caused your world to change completely. They showed you life in a whole new light. And you'll never be the same. But their gone now, you don't know if they're coming back...and you're afraid you'll forget. That you'll forget them, you're afraid that you'll forget what they taught you. You're afraid they won't come back. And instead of never being the same again...you'll go back to being who you always were before you met them. And so you hold on, as tight as you can. Until you can't feel them or hear them. Until you forget to remember.

And that's why I'm afarid to let go.